Emergency Broadcast System
Your living room is really the best place for entertainment nowadays. Period. Television had always been tussling with other entities for the public’s time, but it seems to have taken a next level advantage. It’s liking going from dime bags to eight balls.
With the way the country is right now, sporting event sales are down in every league, and people feel as though they can have just as good a time from their couch watching their flatscreen as they can shivering in the stands in late December (not to mention avoiding hours of traffic!). Obviously, certain fan bases will continue to sell out venues, but the casual fans will look at other avenues for a good time.
Movies have been losing the battle against TV for the better part of the decade. Have you noticed the overflow of film actors onto network/cable television? It used to be frowned upon in the industry but it is now considered a smart move. The material is so much better when it can be told over weeks, months, years as opposed to two hours. At gunpoint, what would be your movie of the decade? (i.e. gunpoint = this) The 90’s had a few to choose from, ditto for the 80’s. But what was this decade’s? You can’t think of that one outstanding movie that would always be referenced with the period. Chris Connelly recently said on The BS Report that he thought a show like The Wire or The Sopranos should be the movie of the decade. It was a long movie that encompassed years of action in order to tell its entire story.
Over the last 2-3 years, TV has grown even more. With such a surplus of unreal series on a variety of networks to choose from, television is packing on pounds like Kristie Alley. “Mad Men”, “Breaking Bad”, “Fringe”, “Sons of Anarchy” are all phenomenal in their own right. On the lighter side, you’ve got “Parks and Recreation”, “Modern Family”, “The Big Bang Theory”, and “Community”, to name a few. If you need more information on what to watch, check in with king critic Alan Sepinwall.
I guess the only thing holding TV back is the lack of theme songs. Every cheesy sitcom from yesteryear always began with a tune that would get stuck in your head. The funnier ones had the actors facing the camera when their name would pop up on screen. (Carl Winslow, wrong camera, jerk off!…Hey, doesn’t Eddie look like Z-Bo?) There were also the themes that you would somehow memorize after just a couple viewings and stay with you for years afterward (Fresh Prince, you were dope. Full House, damn you, Gibbler.) And others just felt right and you had a soft spot for them, maybe because you always dominated a stupid sibling game. (AlanThickeJoannaKernsKirkCameronTraceyGoldJeremyMiller[AshleyJohnson])
“That’s all well and good, but what about cafés?” you say. To quote my man with jheri curl, “Well allow me to retort”: Fuck cafés! This isn’t Friends; nobody gives a shit about scones. With the advent of Hulu, DVR and shows on DVD, the audience can ALWAYS catch up on a show, whether it began earlier that season of 4 years ago. I have countless amigos that I have gotten hooked on LOST merely by having the DVDs. Now they can go through the agony of a week to week story like the rest of us for the final season. [Sidebar: Do 17 episodes count as a season? I’ll take what I can get, just like Tiger Woods. (ZING!)]
So as we come to a close on the first DPN (Decade Post Newmenium) we can look forward to our in home entertainment experience growing, with the countless new gadgets that will be shoved down our throats, in the next ten years. So invest in a quality fitness club and a comfortable couch because you will be parked there for a while.
